Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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