I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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