At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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