dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
