I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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