wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
