if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
