He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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