Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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