I can tuck mytits in my pants
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
