So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love accidental penises.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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