there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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