We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
