Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
