At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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