we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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