problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
