porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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