She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
