We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
