Whod you bang
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
found the other keg... it's in the tree
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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