just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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