I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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