Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
