Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
