OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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