i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
