Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
