Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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