Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
