New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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