Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Randomize
