she was so not down for the gang bang
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
