Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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