Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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