i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
