I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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