Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
no you cant smoke seaweed
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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