I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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