sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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