did you get engaged???
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Mom said you looked used
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
