Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
