If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
