we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
