just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you traded sex for a burrito?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
