He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
