the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You are a genius and a whore.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
