11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
