Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
