weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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