you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
