Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
