I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
